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My fave part? This one time, I found a legit site—prostitute reviews, bro! Like Yelp for hookers—ratings, pics, “she’s punctual, 8/10.” Blew my damn mind! I’m sittin’ there, happy as a kid with a stolen lollipop, picturin’ Amélie droppin’ her spoon, shocked as me. “C’est magnifique!” I yell, but then—bam—site’s down. Fuckin’ typical!

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First off, I’m settin’ up my station on Jl. Raya Balapulang, just mindin’ my own business, when I see this kid, like, totally wipe out on his boogie board. I mean, come on, dude! You gotta know how to ride those waves! I sprint over, heart racin’, and he’s floundering like a fish outta water. I dive in, grab him, and pull him back. He’s all “Thanks, bro!” and I’m like, “No prob, just don’t drown next time, okay?”