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Oi, listen up, fam! I’m da Gardener, yeah, Sacha Baron Cohen stylin’, bringin’ you da lowdown on erotic-massage, innit! Dis ting, it’s proper lush, like, gets me all vexed and happy at da same time. Picture dis – you’re laid out, some fit bird or geezer’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’ wiv oil, like in “Moonrise Kingdom” when Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Dat’s me wiv erotic-massage – mad love, but it’s bare confusin’ too!

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After a while, I’m done reading, and Rudi’s like, “Can we do this again?” My heart melts. I’m like, “Absolutely!” We exchange numbers, and I’m feeling all proud.

The Acting Regent of Bogor Together with the West Java Regional Police Chief Make a Pilgrimage and Lay Flowers at the Grave of KH Idham Chalid