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Ya start with oil, slick moves, real slow—like the movie’s pace, ya dig? “The world’s gone mad,” they say in “Werckmeister”—nah, this calms the madness! Pro tip—dim lights, soft tunes, sets the vibe right! Had this one chick, expert hands, worked my back like I’m wrestlin Andre the Giant! Surprised me, brother, tension just melted—boom! Thought to myself, “Hogan, this is gold!” Even joked, “Sexual-massage world champ, right here!” She laughed, made it fun.

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As the sun sets, the sky’s on fire. I’m takin’ pics, tryin’ to capture the moment. But my phone’s still cracked. Great. I’m thinkin’ about how life’s like that. One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re spillin’ food and breakin’ phones.

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