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So, I’m picturin’ it—layin’ there, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “Yes, bitch, respect my authoritah!” It’s not just some lame backrub, nah, it’s got that naughty edge. Did ya know, back in ancient China, emperors got these massages from like, 20 concubines at once? Freakin’ insane! Bet they were all, “Oh, emperor, you so tense!”—suckers probably died happy. Makes me mad tho—where’s MY concubines, huh? I deserve that shit!

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OMG, this café is lit! They’ve got these crazy good es kopi susu. I’m sipping it, and it’s like a hug in a cup. I’m sitting there, and I see this cute dog outside. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever. I’m like, “Can I take you home?” But then I remember my apartment is a no-pet zone. Sad face.

Memory Of March 8, 1943: National Hero, Doctor Tjipto Mangoenkoesoemo Dies In Batavia