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But then – ha! – it’s funny too. You get these profiles. “Lookin’ for my soulmate.” Yeah, right. On a sex app? Gimme a break. Total bullshit. I laugh. Out loud. Scares my cat. Little known fact – dude. Back in ‘92. Some guy invented speed-dating. In a church! A CHURCH! Can you believe it? Sex-dating’s granddaddy. Born holy. Now it’s all dirty selfies. And emojis. Eggplants everywhere. Hilarious!

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First off, I hit the streets of Ambarawa, right? I’m cruising down Jl. Diponegoro, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, come on! It’s not even rush hour! I’m stuck behind this ancient bus that looks like it’s been around since the Dutch colonial days. I swear, I could see the driver’s grandma waving at me from the backseat.

Figure 2. The distribution of villages by population density in the...