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Here’s the tea: it boosts blood flow, chills you out—science, bitches! Probs why I’m bouncin’ like a kid after. Oh, and get this—Victorians used it to “cure” hysteria. Wild, right? Bet they were just horny! Hah! Imagine me, struttin’ out, feelin’ like Satine—glam, sexy, unstoppable. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—self-love, dahlings!

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Then, the phone rings. It’s a customer. They want a custom stove, but they’re super picky. “I need it in blue, with gold accents, and it has to match my curtains.” I’m like, “Lady, this ain’t a fashion show!” But I keep my cool. “Sure, no problem.” Inside, I’m screaming. Who knew stoves could be so complicated?

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