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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my swamp latte, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ all oozy-like over ya. It’s wild, right? Like, ya go in all tense, and bam—someone’s kneadin’ ya like dough! I saw this flick, *Margaret*, ya know, my fave—2011, Kenneth Lonergan, pure genius—and there’s this line, “You’re a little nuts, aren’t ya?” That’s me, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage! It’s nuts, but good nuts, ya feel me?

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When I get back, I’m finally in the zone. I’m hammering away, shaping this beautiful stove. It’s got curves, it’s got style. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, my buddy János pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the pub last night.” I’m thinking, “I’m trying to work here, man!” But I can’t help but laugh at his antics. He’s got this way of making everything sound epic.

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