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Next, I try bar, dark, smoky, smell like goat ass. Lady there, red lip, short skirt, winking me. I go, “How much, sexy time?” She laugh, say, “50 tenge, big boy!” Very nice! But then, surprise – she got beard! Man dress like woman, I scream, “Noo, my virgin eyes!” Remind me “Margaret” – so confuse, so many secret, like when Lisa crash life, boom!

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After lunch, I decided to take a breather. I walked down to the park by the river. The view of the Danube is always a mood lifter. I sat on a bench, just trying to clear my head. I watched some kids playing, and it hit me—life’s too short to stress over stocks. But then, my phone buzzed again. A client wanted to meet. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break?

Tolna ‘picked’ episode to air on History Channel Feb. 11