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About Szekesfehervar

Ever tried it? Slap some oil, dim the lights, feel like a king! Once drew a cartoon—two trolls rubbin’ each other, all steamy, boss said, “Too much, Gollum!” Laughed me head off. It’s sneaky, sensual, but chill—ain’t no crime in feelin’ good. “We were supposed to herd sheep,” Jack’d moan in me fave flick, and I’m thinkin’, herd yerself to a massage table, lad! Precious touch, it is—keeps me sane, keeps me twitchy self from screamin’. Try it, mate, don’t be a dumb hobbit!

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Then, I head over to the Toekoel Castle. It’s a cool spot, but man, the history! I’m standin’ there, and I’m like, “This place has seen some stuff.” I start daydreamin’ about knights and battles. But then, I overhear this tour guide. She’s talkin’ about how the castle was built in the 14th century. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to chop wood, not learn about ancient bricks!”