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Oh, and get this—some dude in Vegas hired an escort just to play poker with him! No funny business, just cards. Blew my mind! I’m like, “Man, that’s a plot twist!” Kinda hilarious, kinda genius—why not, right? Live a little! Anyway, escort life’s a mixed bag—thrills, chills, and a whole lotta “What the hell?” Gotta say, I’m fascinated, bro—how you holdin’ up hearin’ this?

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Residents of Szigetvar hope the discovery of a 16th-century encampment from the last days of Suleiman the Magnificent could spell a revival for their town. By.

But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though, because what else can you do? I duck into a café on Rákóczi utca. I’m dripping everywhere, looking like a drowned rat. The barista gives me this look like, “What happened to you?” I just shrug and order a hot chocolate. Best decision ever.

Resting place of Süleyman the Magnificent’s organs reportedly found in Hungary