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Then there’s the funny side—escort ads online, man. “Discrete, classy escort”—yeah, right! Prolly some dude named Gary in a tracksuit. Cracked me up, thinkin bout Oscar playin all them roles—escort’s a damn performance! You pay, they act, motherfucker—simple as that.

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So, I’m wandering down Kossuth Lajos utca, and I spot this little bakery. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab a kürtőskalács (that chimney cake, yum!). I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Szigetvár, chill out!” But nah, they’re going at it. I’m just standing there, half-eating my cake, trying not to laugh. Awkward, right?

Turkey continues to restore Ottoman history in Hungary