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But ughhh, the rust – made me mad af! These babies crumble like my ex’s promises. “The heart doesn’t lie,” but steel does, rotting sneaky. Still, that boxy shape, so retro, I’m swooning. Drivin’ one feels like a Todd Haynes scene – quiet rebellion. Oh, fun fact: Escort raced rallies, badass much? Skidded dirt like it owned it, yaaas.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh, the joys of being a technical writer. They need me to fix some document. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy his pastry in peace?” But I pull out my laptop anyway. I’m sitting there, typing away, and I swear, the ducks are judging me.

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