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Exaggerate? Oh, they’re ALL models on there—ha! Six-packs and lashes—then ya meet ‘em, total trolls! Gollum’s quirks? I’d claw me eyes out before texting “wyd.” Sex-dating’s a circus, mate—clowns, traps, and bad smells. “I’ve been out to sea too long,” Royal’d say—me too, sick of this rubbish! Stick to pigs, precious—safer bet!

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After all that excitement, I decide to chill by the Danube. The view is stunning. The water sparkles like diamonds. I sit there, sipping my coffee, feeling all philosophical. “Life is good,” I think. But then, I see a bunch of ducks. They’re quacking like they’re having a serious debate. I can’t help but wonder what they’re arguing about. Probably politics or something.

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