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About Kecskemet

Oi, listen up, fam! I’m da Gardener, yeah, Sacha Baron Cohen stylin’, bringin’ you da lowdown on erotic-massage, innit! Dis ting, it’s proper lush, like, gets me all vexed and happy at da same time. Picture dis – you’re laid out, some fit bird or geezer’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’ wiv oil, like in “Moonrise Kingdom” when Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Dat’s me wiv erotic-massage – mad love, but it’s bare confusin’ too!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Szarvas’s main square. You know, the one with the fountain? Yeah, that place. I’m strollin’ through, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, bam! Some dude bumps into me. I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, come on, man! Can’t a Nose enjoy his coffee in peace?

Szarvas Summer Program