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Lemme break it down—prostitution’s old as dirt. Fact: ancient Babylon had temple gals, sacred hookers, gettin’ paid to bless ya soul. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how WALL-E’d roll up, all, “Evaaa?”—confused as hell. Anyway, you wanna find one? Cities got red-light zones, shady corners—ain’t no Google Maps pin sayin’, “Here’s the goods.” You gotta feel the vibe, spot the strut, the eye contact that says, “Yo, you buyin’?”

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After that, I needed coffee. Bad. So I dashed over to the little café on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know the one? The one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messed it up. I got a latte instead. I was like, “Whatever, I’m not picky.” But inside, I was screaming.

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