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But real talk, it’s messy out here. Dudes creepin’, tryna haggle – that shit pisses me off. I’m like, “Respect the hustle, fam!” Surprised me how bold some get, actin’ like they own her. Nah, son, she’s the captain, “steering the ship through the storm,” like in *The New World*. I’m just along for the ride, sippin’ my drink, thinkin’, “This is cinema in real life.”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair, like she just got zapped by lightning or somethin’. She starts ramblin’ about how her roses are dying. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a gardener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t be rude, so I nod and pretend to care. Turns out, she’s been watering them with soda. SODA! I mean, what’s next? Feeding them pizza?