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Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

A brothel village: The legal red-light district in Bangladesh

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By now, I’m exhausted. I sit down on a bench, and this kid comes up to me. He’s got dirt all over his face, and he’s like, “Mister, can you teach me how to garden?” I’m like, “Sure, kid! But first, let’s talk about not eating dirt.” We laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the craziness of the day.