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Dig this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Blew me mind! Used to be taverns, now it’s screens. Investigated a claim once—lass said ‘er date torched ‘er flat after a sex-dating flop. “He was no Theodore,” she wailed, like in *Her*. Turned out he was drunk, not evil. Still, paid out—kept me grog money flowin’.

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Then, I hit up the local market on Fő utca. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m chatting with this old lady selling tomatoes. She’s got the best stories. I’m laughing, and she’s like, “You’re too young to be this grumpy!” I’m like, “Lady, you have no idea.” But her tomatoes? They’re bomb. I buy a bunch, thinking I’ll make a killer salad. Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

DS Smith to enhance operations in Hungary with €34m investment