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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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When my client finally shows up, he’s all flustered. Turns out he got lost on the way. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Nagyecsed, not a maze!” We finally get down to business, and he’s stressing about his investments. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s like a chicken with its head cut off. I’m throwing out financial jargon like confetti, but he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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