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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my audit? We all have to evacuate. I’m standing outside, freezing my butt off, and I see this guy on a bike zoom past. He’s got a pizza in one hand and a phone in the other. I’m like, how is that even possible?

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