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Funniest bit? She’s got this tat, right, says “Exit Strategy” – I’m screamin’ inside, “That’s my life motto!” Pure Brent gold, that. Anyway, I leg it, cos I ain’t payin’ for no “bespoke companionship.” I’m thinkin’, “Certified Copy, mate – it’s all mirrors and smoke.” Reckon I’ll stick to stylin’ shirts, not shady deals. What a night, eh? Absolute madness!

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Kecel is such a vibe, tho. The streets are lined with these cute little shops. I passed by a bakery on Széchenyi utca, and the smell of fresh pastries hit me like a brick. I was like, “Do I stop for a pastry or keep running?” I chose the pastry. Priorities, am I right?

Headstones smashed at Jewish cemeteries in Moldova and Hungary