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Sometimes I get all dreamy, wonderin if Malik from *A Prophet* woulda been on Bumble, smirkin at chicks with that line, “You’re my prisoner now.” Ha! Bet he’d kill it—cool, quiet, dangerous vibe. Me? I’d prolly suck at it—too busy overthinkin, mutterin to myself, “Don’t say somethin dumb, Phil!” Worst part? Them ghosters—folks who chat ya up, get ya all hot n bothered, then poof! Gone! Pisses me off worse’n a stepped-on rattlesnake. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Leavin people hangin like that?

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First off, I hit the streets of Csurgo. You know, the ones like Kossuth Lajos utca? Yeah, that one. It’s like a maze of surprises. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old lady trying to cross the street. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But she’s moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I almost lost it.

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