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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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Suddenly, I hear this loud noise. A bunch of kids are playing soccer nearby. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I’m standing there, cheering them on. “Go, go, go!” I’m practically a coach now. One kid scores, and they all go nuts. I’m smiling like an idiot.

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