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But oi, the punters—dodgy blokes, some o’ ‘em. Pisses me off when they haggle like she’s a busted tire. Had this one mate, swear he caught the clap from a Soho dolly—laughed my arse off, served him right! “What a lovely day,” I says, watchin’ him squirm.

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But then, outta nowhere, a ball comes flying at me. I duck just in time. I’m like, “Whoa, chill, kids!” They laugh, and I’m laughing too. It’s all good vibes until one of them trips and falls. I rush over, thinking, “Oh no, not on my watch!” But he just gets up, brushes it off, and says, “I’m fine!” Kids are tough, man.

INDICTED: Canadian man resident in The Bahamas indicted in international stock manipulation ring