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So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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So, I keep walking, right? I hit up the main square, where all the action is. There’s this market, and let me tell ya, the smells are insane. Fresh bread, fruits, and some weird fish I’ve never seen. I’m like, “What’s that?” The vendor just grins and says, “It’s a local delicacy!” I’m like, “Yeah, no thanks. I’ll stick to my pizza.”

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