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Still, it’s a gamble, innit? Surprised me how many hide behind filters—cowards! Like, mate, I’ve seen worse in my dungeons. Funniest bit? This lass bragged she banged 10 guys in a week—called it “research.” Research, my arse! She’s just thirsty. Oh, and get this—there’s a secret sex-dating ring in prisons, coded notes passed in bread loaves. Saw it myself, nearly choked laughin’—fuckin’ ingenious, tho.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Gabor. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pub after work!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t. I’m drowning in numbers.” But then I think, “Screw it, I need a drink.” So, I text back, “I’m in!”