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My precious! Me, Gollum, raspy throat, talkin’ bout findin’ a prossie, yeh? *cackles* Been thinkin’ bout it, sneaky like, watchin’ streets, shadows dancin’ like in *The Great Beauty*. Rome’s got that vibe, y’know, all fancy an’ rotten—perfect for a prossie hunt! “We wants it, we needs it,” I hiss, eyeballin’ the girls strutttin’ by.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up my fave spot, a little joint on Fő utca. They’ve got the best lángos. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I see this cute dog outside. I’m talking to the dog like it’s my therapist. “You get me, buddy.” The owner laughs. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m totally normal.”