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But here’s the kicker—some places, they jack up prices, sayin’ it’s “therapeutic,” and I’m over here screamin’, “Gimme a break!” Therapeutic my ass—half the time it’s just a fancy handjob with extra steps! Ha! Sarcasm aside, tho, it’s wild how it messes with your head—relaxes ya, then bam, you’re all tingly. Personal quirk? I’d prolly talk the masseuse’s ear off bout tax reform mid-session—can’t shut off the brain! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d say it’s better than a million bucks—screw the billionaires hoardin’ cash!

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After a while, I finally get the tractor out. I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, I see this kid on a bike. He’s zoomin’ down the street, and I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down!” But he doesn’t listen. He swerves right in front of me. I slam the brakes, and my heart’s racin’. I’m like, “What is this, a stunt show?”