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Now, here’s a lil’ somethin’ y’all don’t know—back in ancient Egypt, they was doin’ this too! Cleopatra had her servants oilin’ her up, makin’ Mark Antony act a fool. True story! I read that in a book once, ‘fore I threw it at my cousin Leroy for stealin’ my cornbread. Point is, this erotic-massage been ‘round forever, and folks still actin’ shocked. Chile, please! Ain’t nobody got time for that fake gasp!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s got a basket full of veggies. I’m like, “What’s up, grandma?” She starts tellin’ me about her garden on Petőfi utca. She’s so proud of her tomatoes, you’d think they were gold. I’m tryin’ to be polite, but I’m also like, “Lady, I’m stuck in mud here!” But she’s sweet, so I just nod and smile.