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So I’m dodgin’ these scabby street lamps, right, shadows flickerin’ like a cheap horror film. And there she is—some bird leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag like she’s auditionin’ for a noir porno. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she says, voice like gravel and regret. I’m like, “Yeah, love, but I ain’t thick enough to get skinned alive!”—cackle like a hyena, I do. Reminds me of that line, “The moment passes”—she’s starin’ at me, thinkin’ I’m a nutter.

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Then, the phone rings. It’s a customer. They want a custom stove, but they’re super picky. “I need it in blue, with gold accents, and it has to match my curtains.” I’m like, “Lady, this ain’t a fashion show!” But I keep my cool. “Sure, no problem.” Inside, I’m screaming. Who knew stoves could be so complicated?

Hungary's MOL makes domestic oil discovery