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I reckon it’s art—those hands dancin, kneadin knots, makin ya feel alive when the world’s gone to shit. “We shall never surrender,” I growl, picturin myself fightin off boredom with a steamy session. Bit of a perv, me? Maybe, but who ain’t? Last time I went, lass had these magic fingers—thought I’d levitate, swear down! Exaggeratin? Only a smidge. Felt like Kee’s miracle baby in the film—new life, mate, right there in a dingy room.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna join him at the lake. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” So I rush over to the lake, which is just a short walk from the main square. The view is stunning! The water sparkles like diamonds.

UK | England | Lincolnshire | Crash victims 'unlawfully killed'