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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, yeah, that steamy, slippery goodness. Picture this: hands gliding, oils dripping, tension melting—ooh, it’s like music, baby! I’m a musician, right? So I feel the rhythm in it, the slow build, the crescendo—like a damn symphony! But lemme tell ya, it ain’t just fancy spa crap for the 1%. Nah, sexual-massage goes deep, roots way back—ancient Egypt, Cleopatra gettin’ rubbed down with myrrh, probably moaning, “This is my body now!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, reclaim that power!

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First off, I had to get ready. You know, the whole geisha thing—makeup, kimono, the works. I was feeling cute, like a total queen. But then, I stepped outside on Kossuth Lajos utca, and bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. Just what I needed.

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