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So, sexual-massage—heard it started way back, like ancient Rome or somethin’. These rich jerks’d get oiled up, grapes in their mouths, and some poor schmuck’s kneadin’ their junk like it’s dough. True story—found that in some dusty history book once. Kinda wild, right? Imagine me—Larry “The Lumberjack” David—lyin’ there, all oiled up, goin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” while secretly I’m freakin’ out! What if they slip? What if it’s awkward? I’d sue the toga off ‘em!

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So, I’m walking down the main street, Széchenyi utca, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “I got you, grandma!” I help her out, and she starts telling me about her cat, Mici. Apparently, Mici’s a legend in Vac. Everyone knows her. I’m thinking, “Wow, this cat’s got more fame than I do.”

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