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Sometimes it’s rubbish, tho—ghostin’, dick pics, ugh! Makes me wanna claw me eyes out, yesss! Once got a message, “u up?” at 3 a.m.—mate, I’m sleepin’, not screwin’! Hiss! But then, surprises—met a weirdo who baked me cookies first. Cookies, then coitus, ha! Sweet as Sam’s letters to Suzy, “I’m on your side,” he says. Sex-dating’s a mess, precious—funny, dirty, mad mess! Me loves the chaos, me hates the liars—split, see? What’s yer take, eh? Gollum’s curiousss!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kossuth Lajos utca. Best coffee in town, no cap. I grab my usual—double espresso, extra shot. I’m buzzing, ready to tackle whatever comes my way. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster, and the barista just laughs. Thanks, dude. Real supportive.

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