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So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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So, I grab a lángos. You know, that deep-fried goodness? I’m munching away, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking grease stain. Classic me, right?

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