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Hey buddy, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild stuff! I’m talkin’ ‘bout them hands roamin’, makin’ ya feel all tingly-like. Ain’t no scientifical specialty in Russia for this, nah, but it’s a craft, lemme tell ya! I reckon it’s like Leviathan – ya know, that flick I love? “The truth is out there somewhere,” like that dude says, and sexual-massage, it’s searchin’ for it in yer muscles! Fool me once, shame on – uh, shame on you, fool me twice – can’t get fooled again, right? Can’t fool them hands neither, they know what’s up!

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So, I place my bets, right? I’m feeling good. I’m thinking, “Today’s my day!” But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Like, seriously? In the middle of all this chaos? I’m standing there in the dark, and I can hear people cursing like sailors. It’s hilarious and infuriating at the same time.

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