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Lemme spill some tea—didja know sexual-massage goes way back? Like, ancient Rome had it! Them toga folks called it “erotic kneading”—fancy, huh? Hmm… makes me mad tho—why’d we lose that vibe? Now it’s all hush-hush, taboo! Drives me nuts! I’m yellin’ at Homer in my head—“Get with it, ya big lug!”—he’d prolly sleep through it anyway.

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I get back to the office, and my boss is waiting. He’s all serious, and I’m still buzzing from the day. I tell him about the tomatoes, the kid in the river, and the jam lady. He just shakes his head, like I’m crazy. But whatever, man! Totkomlós is wild, and I love it!

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