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So picture this—I’m tryin’ it once, right? Masseuse is all “relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m wound tighter’n a bull’s ass in fly season!” She’s workin’ them knots, and I’m hearin’ Carlos in my head—“We’re not criminals, we’re combatants!”—and I’m thinkin’, hell, this ain’t a fight, it’s a damn surrender! Funniest thang? I near slipped off the table—oily as a catfish in a fryer! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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I woke up late, of course. Alarm? What alarm? I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? Grabbed a quick coffee from that little joint on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. Always knows my order. I was like, “Dude, I need this caffeine like I need air!” He just laughed and handed me my double espresso. Bless him.

Despite new Devils Lake outlets, support remains for Tolna Coulee releases