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So, check it—I tried this sexual-massage spot once, right? Hidden in some sketchy alley, smelled like sage and desperation. This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Yo, is this allowed to feel *this* good?” She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t even know I had—muscles screamin’, “What is this sorcery?!” Little known fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and call it “healin’.” Healin’ my ass—it’s foreplay with extra steps! I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “This is some *Leviathan* shit—‘Man is a wolf to man,’ but with lube!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I get this tip about a local startup. They’re based near the Tolna train station. Apparently, they’re about to drop a game-changer product. I’m thinking, “This could be it!” So, I dive in, buy a bunch of shares. My gut’s telling me this is gonna be huge. I’m feeling like a genius, right?

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