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Sarcasm? Oh, mate, you’d probs think it’s just a wank with extra steps. Idiot! It’s deeper – connects you, body and soul. Exaggerating? Maybe. But when them hands hit the right spot, you’re floating. Fuckin’ floating! Try it, ya daft sod – then thank me later. Gordon’s orders!

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Then, I head over to the Toekoel Castle. It’s a cool spot, but man, the history! I’m standin’ there, and I’m like, “This place has seen some stuff.” I start daydreamin’ about knights and battles. But then, I overhear this tour guide. She’s talkin’ about how the castle was built in the 14th century. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to chop wood, not learn about ancient bricks!”