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I get mad tho, some place charge $200, for what? 20 minute rub? Robbery! But when good, oh, heart go fast, “There’s nothing closer than this,” like Carol whisper. Little secret—some use hot stone, feel like sexy BBQ, I laugh, “Cook me, baby!” Very nice, my friend, you try, tell Borat how it go!

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I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the local football team. Apparently, they’re in the finals or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the beer.” But he’s so pumped, I can’t help but get into it. We’re high-fivin’ and shoutin’ like we’re best buds.