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Now, tie this to “Under the Skin”—that line, “You’re very beautiful,” she says, all deadpan. Escorts pull that too—flatter ya, reel ya in, then bam, wallet’s empty. Surprised me how smooth they are, like predators in heels. Once knew a guy, swore his “date” was true love—ha! Told him, “She’s paid to moan, idiot.” He cried. I laughed. Truth hurts.

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After that, I decided to hit up the local bakery on Fő utca. Best pastries ever! I grab a couple of those sweet túrós batyu things. They’re like little pockets of heaven. I’m munching away, feeling all happy, when I see this kid trip over his own feet. Classic! He falls right into a pile of leaves. I’m dying laughing.

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