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Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Like, swipin’ right for a shag – pathetic! Watched "The Master" again last night, fuckin’ brilliant. That line, “Man is not an animal!” – bollocks to that! Sex-dating proves we’re beasts, mate. All these twats on apps, posin’ half-naked, thinkin’ they’re clever. Idiot sandwich! I’ve seen profiles – “lookin’ for fun” – what a joke. Pure desperation drippin’ off ‘em.

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But wait, there’s more! I decide to check out the local park. It’s called the Tiszalúci Park, and it’s got this cool playground. I see a bunch of kids running around, laughing. It’s heartwarming, you know? But then, I see this one kid who’s just sitting there, looking all sad. I go up to him and ask what’s up. Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, that’s a tragedy! So, I buy him a new one. His face lights up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!”

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