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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it all – dudes flexin’ fake pics, chicks ghostin’ after one text. Pisses me off! Like, why you playin’, fam? Be real! I must BREAK that fake shit. Once hooked up with this girl, total knockout, right? Met her on some sketchy app – thought I’d hit the jackpot. Turns out, she’s a catfish, bro! Used some rando’s pics. Felt like Nemo losin’ his damn fin – crushed me hard. “Mine? Mine? Mine?” – nah, not mine, seagulls can have her!
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While we’re outside, I spot this old dude on a bench by the park. He’s feeding pigeons like he’s the bird whisperer or something. I can’t help but chuckle. Like, dude, you do you! But then, one pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich. I’m dying! The guy’s face was priceless.
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