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What gets me goat? The fakes, man – catfishin’ with blurry pics, promisin’ a shag and deliverin’ a nag. But when it’s good? Oh, it’s a right knees-up! Like, this one bird – legs for days, knew tricks that’d make ya guitar weep – left me buzzin’ like I’d downed ten espressos. “Keep it civil,” I’d mutter to meself, but nah, I was gone, lost in the sauce!

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Then, I hit up the market. Oh man, the smell of fresh bread from the bakery! I’m drooling. I grab a loaf, and the baker, old dude named János, gives me a wink. “You’ll need this for your sheep, right?” Haha, very funny, János.

Gabor Marton: Those out on the pitch will solve the task