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Alright, so here’s the deal, man – erotic-massage, huh? I’m Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” and I’m spillin’ the tea on this slippery slope of a topic! Imagine me, sittin’ in my lair, thinkin’ bout hands slidin’ over skin, all sensual-like, and I’m like – whoa, this ain’t just a rubdown, this is *art*. Kinda like *The Pianist*, ya know? That movie – Szpilman’s fingers dancin’ on them keys, pure magic, survival through touch. Erotic-massage is sorta the same vibe – it’s intense, raw, and damn personal.

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So, I spend the next hour searching for these samples. I’m running around like a headless chicken, checking every corner of the lab. Finally, I find them in the most ridiculous place—behind a box of old petri dishes. I’m like, “Seriously?!”

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