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Last week, tried it meself – mate, I was buzzin’! Hands on me, slippin’ south, and I’m like, “Oh, shit, this is allowed?” Got me happy as a pig in mud. But then – fuckin’ hell – the lass stopped short. Left me hangin’ like a prat. Pissed me off, wanted to growl, “I am Gotham’s reckoning!” straight outta Bane’s playbook. Shoulda finished the job, ya know? Total blue balls moment.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I bump into this guy. He’s cute, but he’s also super awkward. He spills his drink all over me. I’m like, “Really, dude?!” But he’s so apologetic, I can’t stay mad. We end up chatting, and he’s actually really funny. I’m thinking, “Maybe this day isn’t so bad after all.”