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Hey, y’all, it’s Oprah here! Honey, let’s talk escort – yeah, the Ford Escort, that lil’ car that’s got sass! I’m a Research Associate, diggin’ deep, and this ride? Oh, it’s got stories! Picture this – small, scrappy, zippy thang from the ‘80s and ‘90s, hustlin’ streets like it owns ‘em. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven* – you know, my fave flick! That line, “I’m going to survive this,” Cathy says? That’s the Escort, baby, tough as nails!

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But then, as I’m leaving, I bump into this guy. He’s cute, but he’s also super awkward. He spills his drink all over me. I’m like, “Really, dude?!” But he’s so apologetic, I can’t stay mad. We end up chatting, and he’s actually really funny. I’m thinking, “Maybe this day isn’t so bad after all.”