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Sometimes it’s awkward, tho—like, “Oskar, hit me with a stick!” vibes when they ask, “You want extras?” and you’re like, uh, maybe? Humor’s key—once this masseuse farted mid-session, and I’m dyin’, thinkin’, “That’s the power within unleashed!” Laughed my ass off, broke the tension. Pro tip: if it’s too serious, it’s fake—real sexual-massage got sass, play, a lil’ edge.

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Once the rain stopped, we decided to grab some food. We hit up this little joint on Petőfi utca. Best lángos in town, no cap. I got mine with garlic and sour cream. Pure bliss. But then, I saw a rat scurry by. I was like, “Nope, I’m done.” But my friends were all, “Chill, it’s just a rat.” I mean, who’s chillin’ with rats? Not me!

Emergency Proclamation: 400 Dead Trees Along Pi‘iholo Rd to be Removed