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I reckon it’s a thrill, though, yeah? Like defusin’ a bomb – “The wire! The wire!” – you’re chattin’ some bird, hopin’ she ain’t a catfish. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, will she ghost or bang? Proper adrenaline hit when it works. Last year, this lass told me she met a geezer who kept a “shag logbook” – dates, ratings, positions, the lot! Full-on nerd, but fair play, that’s dedication. Bet he’s wankin’ over pie charts now, the sad git.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Fő utca. You know, the one with the best coffee? I ordered my usual, a double shot of espresso. But guess what? They messed it up! I got a latte instead. Like, who even drinks that? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! I almost flipped the table. But then, I saw this cute dog outside. Instant mood lift. Dogs make everything better, right?

Kicking off the season